Trapt in a hell that should be home

I get the feeling that I hate where I live. People I don't know coming in on my space. I cant leave, I have no where to go, I don't want to stay, but I have no choice. There is nothing I can do cause I live with the magnet that attracts the problem. People who can't think straight because they can't control their vices, who have clouded their already primal brains, barge in without warning. They loose control over everything, even basic motor skills. I can't get out. They all continuously come and go breaking my silence, breaking my peace. They treat me like I'm the outsider when they are in my home eating and drinking my things without asking or hesitation because of the chameleon that changes it skin continuously to fit in. Taking my side and locking the door when they leave but only to unlock it and be one of them when they return. Always quick to please them holding itself under there finger. My heroes who usually save me are tied up in other matters. I am force to isolate myself for the sake of my rising temper. The magnet leaves but the others do not follow instead they feel the need to linger and spread disease throughout my space. I bring the magnet back and make it remove all that doesn't belong. Now I have restored my peace, my silence but it has left scars in my space.

This is for SMO and wishuponaguitar and who ever else might feel stuck

Float on by Modest Mouse

Stuck

I feel stuck. I feel like life could be passing me by, sorta like the words that float through my head, but they can't get out because my throat, like my life, is stuck. Luckily, one of those stuck things will go away reasonably soon. Being sick doesn't last forever, but sometimes life stays stuck. I've seen it. We all have. Those big shot business guys, with nothing to look forward to but the next deal, so they can buy the next thing. Honestly, being stuck in someone else's life...someone else's idea of what life should be...scares me more than anything else. But the question then becomes, 'what do I want?' And my answer is 'I don't know.' Which leaves me, again, stuck.

Did You Know (Feb 25)

Did you know that the voice of Edna in The Incredibles was done by a man? His name is Brad Bird, and he actually directed the movie as well.

I hate how my emotions run me. I'm so sensitive and I hate it.

one more thought

I can't stand when people talk in riddles. I almost can't handle it. It's why my favorite people to be around are kids because they tell it like it is. I never second guess if they're secretly thinking something else. Come on people. Straighten out or get the fuck out. Just tell it like it is or leave me alone. I just can't handle it anymore. I'm so fucking tired of guessing. 


Quit pretending to be artistic when you're not.
Quit being cool when no one cares.
Take off your ugly shoes because they aren't making a statement.
Take that stupid cigarette out of your mouth because you don't look cool.
Leave your ego on your dresser because there's more to life than how big it can get.
Keep your judgements out of my face. I don't care. 

Me

I'm so fragile. Instead of thinking of all the things that are wrong with me I think I need to shut up and accept it. How many times have I thought to myself, "I can't handle this." What is my limit. When do I reach the point where I can't turn back. How can I put my emotions on a limb, so far away from me,  susceptible to a pain I never want to feel. How do we go about this life without hurt. Maybe the point is we don't.