Nostalgia

I remember my past. Most days were amazing, but some days were bad. The way my eyes lit up when it was just my mom and me in the morning when she combed my hair for school or when my sister pushed me and told me to go away when all I wanted to do was watch her play barbie in her dollhouse. It's so ironic, I vividly remember the memories I had with my sister, but none with my brother and now, I am closer to him than I am with her.

I had a really long conversation with my sister yesterday, her name is Tuesday. We talked about when we were children and how we'd watch all these t.v. shows together. I'd always follow her around. I wanted to be just like her. She was so mean, loud, and honest, but people still loved her. I was the shy little girl in the corner who just wanted to observe the world in the eyes of her big sister. When we were little, my mom always dressed us the same. I loved it so much because I was that much closer to being just like her. Tuesday on the other hand, absolutely hated it. She'd always whine to my mom that she didn't want to dress like me and it hurt my feelings. I never understood it, but now looking back, I guess it was pretty annoying to dress like your baby sister.

My brother was never around that often, he was always over his friend Kory's house. So I always just felt like it was me and her. I remember when she started middle school I'd watch cartoons after school and she'd always wait for The Real World to come on. I wanted to be cool like her so I watched it too though I never really understood what they were talking about. She stopped being interested in kids shows so we didn't have that in common anymore and it made me sad. Then she got her first boyfriend and that made me even more sad. She was a grown up to me and I was still a kid.

Now that I've moved away and I'm a little closer to my brother, I still wish it was like how it used to be. Spending Saturday mornings eating cinnamon toast crunch watching Rugrats and Captain Planet, while our Saturday evenings were spent eating Macaroni & Cheese and watching All That with my sister Tuesday. But those shows don't come on anymore and we're both grown-ups now.